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  • Writer's pictureGarrett Miller

Welcome To Your Fantastic Friday

Believe & Receive! Attract & Allow!

Being perfect is really a struggle some days. It's so easy to throw stones at glass houses and tell others how insignificant and inferior they are in comparison. I know this to be true because every day I'm reading super judgy "news" articles on all of the majors now written by skilled "journalists" who have never heard of Walter Cronkite. It helps me focus on remaining my best, most perfect self as well. I mean, I'm definitely the best driver in all of Southern California. I use my turn signal 100% of the time. I'm always stealth focused on the road, driving conditions and the other morons who I have to share the roads with. I won't even start in on the people who go grocery shopping, specifically at Costco who are there less for product than to create shopper traffic jams by stopping in the middle of the expansive isles so they can figure out what day of the week it is. I'm also not going into the havoc they create by pretending they've not eaten for weeks and must taste every sample in the store and make sure to get in everyone's way. Oh, the list in being perfect is long my friends. When I saw this meme today, it brought back haunting memories of a friend I had when I was going to Arizona State 100 years ago. We worked together at Sprint and he had a great sense of humor - wild, wicked and completely inappropriate. We were friends for a couple of years outside of work and would hang out at clubs and stuff. Super fun. That all changed on a dime when we went to the movies. Being perfect, I have high tolerance for many things in life, however movie theater etiquette is shared with those who live in a civilized world. There are certain expectations one has when attending a movie: * Get in line and know BEFORE you get to the window WHAT movie you want to see. There will be no "I don't know, what do you want to see?" types of chatter. BANNED! * If you're buying concessions - keep it simple and prepare your request prior to seeing the attendant. "Popcorn with butter. Large Diet Coke - I'm watching my weight." There will be no, "Hmmm what kind of snacks do you want? Do you want candy? How about nachos? Should we get the licorice, too? Do you want your own drink? Should we share?" BANNED! * In the theater, TURN YOUR FRIGGIN PHONE OFF before the movie starts. If you are SO important that you need to talk or text during the movie, being AT THE MOVIES is one of the worst choices you are making in life. You clearly also have other issues to deal with. Quietly get leave the theater and never return. BANNED!

* Screaming babies? NEVER. Leave your brats at home. I didn't pay $15 to see Rocky 12 so I can hear your brat scream because you're a bad parent. Forcing me to listen to your brat scream will make me cry out "Yo, Adrian you are BANNED!" * Talking DURING the movie. In previews - fine. Once the lights go down, I never want to hear a single peep out of your popcorn stuffed pie hole until the credits role. If you want to add your commentary during the presentation - GO HOME and watch it on tv. I'll be in the next room ignoring you. BANNED! * Chewing Ice. Chewing Crunchy. Opening cellophane packages. Usually during quiet, important or other inappropriate times. BANNED! I will tolerate zero of these horrible offenses. The friend in question broke the last cardinal sin of movie watching - chewing ice with his mouth open during the movie. After having every last nerve worked, I politely asked if he could chew the ice with his mouth CLOSED, perhaps. His reply, "Get over it!" That was the end of our friendship. Ain't nobody got time for that. Chew your food wisely. The friends you save might just include me. Isn't that perfect? That's my perfect tip for the day. How are you enjoying Friday? Post your picture here and share your story of what drives you nuts!

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